Donald and TTJ, thanks for the response! I really appreciate it. Yes, I think a D4 would be more ideal for what I need. But I am not pro at all. I've learned way more from this forum than I could ever give back.
TTJ - this sentence made me say 'Dang it!!!' - "That is probably close to the worse type of shooting situation you can have." Here I am, just a guy who wanted to shoot landscapes with the 14-24 f/2.8 and use the 50 f/1.4 for all other things and I've gotten myself into a situation that requires so much more.
The lighting in the theater depends on the number being performed, sometimes, it's very bright and shooting is easy. Other times, the teachers want lower lights for a more *moody* performance. The D4 is twice as expensive as a D800 and a used D3s is also quite a bit more than a new D800. I currently do not have to blow up images larger than 8x10 (for parents), but the theater where I shoot may start asking me to print larger for advertising or whatever they happen to think of. However, I keep telling myself that these are just small kids. I originally intended my shots to only be used for myself and other parents, but now since people are asking more of me, I may have to start charging them. At least that way I can justify buying the D4 - to myself, my wife, etc...
DoF isn't that much of an issue since I'm only capturing 1-2 dancers at a time. If it becomes an issue, I'll come back here for more advice.
For the time being, I'll stick with the D800 and the 85 f/1.8 and see how it goes. After Xmas, I'll try to remember to post some stuff on PAD and get advice / feedback.