I have opened this up for a short film i just shot for my student project here at college.
All shot on my trusty D90.
where there’s smoke there’s forum fire
Nice like it.. (cant say much else as I have no idea about videography lol)
I thought that was awesome man! Great Job!
Ok, you asked for it ;-)
First and foremost, WHAT are you trying to communicate with the short? Watching it, it looks more like a camera test then anything else. A series of overly lengthy, overly dark, boring shots with a kiss at the end does not make a cohesive short. Just like in writing, you need to have a beginning, middle and end. IMO, you have only an ending.
Technically, the shots are very dark. Even if you are trying to set a morose sad tone, most all the shots are so dark that detail of the faces are lost in the mud. Many of the walking shots are hopelessly out of focus adding to the loss of your subjects faces. Next time try a small battery powered LED light. A small unit or even a diffused flashlight would help...especially if shooting B&W.
The time lapse is fine, just remember to shoot more angles. If you shot multiple angles at that slow frame rate and cut them together(remembering continuity) I think it would have been very intriguing, especially with the cars moving quickly behind the subject.
Eye line is very important. You, as a director need to determine where your character's eyes will be looking. Darting looks from talent into and away from the lens totally F-up the illusion the viewer is "observing" a story(which is what I think you were trying to communicate). When they look at camera, we now think this is just a walk and vamp or maybe a music video? I don't know if it's a music video though, because they are not singing but there is music playing<shrug>.
I'm older and come from a time where the "jump cut" was a big no no. While I can appreciate it's use in certain situations like music videos, there is no excuse to use them in a short like yours, with the possible exception that you were too lazy to shoot other angles of the walking shots. Remember to think in terms of isolated segments. Feet, hands, people approaching, looks into stores or the street, the falling snow. Anything to help along the long BOOOORING walking at camera shots. You will be putting them in the proper sequence in editing.
Lastly, there is a big continuity error as she exits the stairwell. We see her walk out the door and we follow. You then cut to an exterior of the door closed(WTF?) and she walks out again. Simple fix, but still it's a glaring error.
I know it seems like I'm bashing you, but please understand that you asked for a critique. Don't beat yourself or me up for pointing out the shortcomings of this work. We've all made these mistakes and you must learn from them to grow as a visual storyteller. Think your short through before you ever pick up a camera. Know what you want before you ever shoot a frame. See the completed video in your mind's eye before you ever cut a shot. You'll find your final product will be much better.
Best of luck.
I thought it was a nice video. I am not even an amateur at it, so my take is about worthless. The one thing that I noticed was the camera moving. If you do it again, pick up a skateboard or wagon and have someone pull you so we do not see your steps. It appeared you were walking backwards in the video instead of gliding. Still better than I think I can do. ;- )
Go to cheesycam and find some very imaginative, homemade, dirt cheap, gear for DSLR videos. Your vid is "noire" to the max, not a dis but a comment. Viewing it on lcd monitor can caused it to be unbearable during certain scenes, use a flash light, glow stick, flare to add some light if electricity is not available. Sensors have limits in low light, you can always darken it more in PP but you can't lighten it as readily. Try shooting the same scene with various amounts of light the edit them in a random order. You'll learn to critic yourself over time.
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