regulator—sorry, I meant heartyfisher in Australia.
I was talking about your second shot too, smarter. I don't really see anything wrong with it, but if you're talking about the left side of the shot (model's right), you could open up the shadows a little with a reflector. I like the high contrast and the mystery, though.
edit: if you're going to use flash, I wouldn't aim it at the model. I don't know what kind of room that was taken in, but you could try bouncing it off a faraway wall (off camera left?) to get just a little bit of fill. I'd use either manual mode on the flash and experiment or set flash exposure compensation to -1EV or -2EV.